My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
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Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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