I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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