why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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