i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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