Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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