ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My penis needs a shock collar
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize