Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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