how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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