Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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