found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize