That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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