Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize