We need to rekindle our bromance
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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