you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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