I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize