I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize