i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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