i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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