Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
