i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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