I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize