Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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