fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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