what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
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