Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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