It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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