the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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