After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
do herpes really smell.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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