i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize