they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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