Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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