brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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