I like my sex mixed with concussions.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize