maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize