Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize