I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize