is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize