I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize