I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize