At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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