Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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