Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize