State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize