; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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