Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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