I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize