he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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