DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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