i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have post one night stand depression
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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