This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
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So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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