remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
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Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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